How to stop measuring yourself against others


In today’s busy world we are bombarded with ideas of what success is supposed to look like. That we are never enough. That we have to do more, be more, look better, work harder. We are constantly reminded by the media and society around us that we never quite measure up. That the grass is always greener. That people all around us have it easier and are more together than we are.

It is so easy to get caught in this trap, our minds are great like that…constantly assessing, judging and sizing up others as a measure of our own personal success. And then we wonder why we’re left feeling deflated, like victims of our own circumstances. We inherently believe that we need something more or something else before we can have what we want. Social media is great like that, constantly showing us the latest ‘what’s hot’ and reaffirming that we are ‘not’. How can we be when the goal post is always shifting? How can we ever be enough, if the rules are changing all of the time?

This is where the importance of discernment and self-reflection come into play. It’s only by disassociating with the external environment, and turning our attention inwards, that we can start to connect with what it is we truly want and who we truly are. We need to stop comparing ourselves to others! When we quiet the constant chatter of our minds, when we question what we are being spoon fed by social media and take some time out from the busy world around us, we start to reclaim our power. When we are still, none of this shit matters. It is illusory.

When we disconnect from the hamster wheel of social media feeds and reconnect with ourselves  – be that meditation, spending time in nature, or even engaging in our favourite creative activities, we can realise that the things we are taught to need and value aren’t necessarily that important. When we strip them back to what our heart truly desires, it’s all very simple. We want to be free to express ourselves, we want to connect with others, we want to be healthy, and we want to feel love.

Through slowing down, quietening the mind and through self-reflection, we can connect with ourselves and start to understand that it isn’t important to live up to societies expectation of what success looks like. It’s important to connect with what our idea of success looks like, what is inherently important to us and strive towards that. I bet it isn’t flashy devices, getting a promotion, or gaining 20,000 followers on Instagram. No, it’s living a meaningful life, sharing our unique qualities and gifts, pursing our passions, and spending time with people we care about.

There are always going to be people that are better than us in one way or another, but so what? We can’t all be the best at everything we do. What is important though, is being true to who we are, owning our quirks, and appreciating the qualities that make us amazing in our own ways. What's important is competing with ourselves to be better than the day before, in whatever capacity that may be.

It’s time that we reconnect with what is really important to us and let go of the shit that doesn’t matter. Be weird. Be crazy. And most importantly, be an authentic expression of yourself, because no one can be you, but you.